Ann McIntosh Stockdale

Alice Ann (Ann is fine - don't call me Alice) McIntosh, age 84, of Steubenville, OH passed away Sunday, December 22, 2024. She is survived by her children, Amy (Joe), Scott (Katrina), and Stephen (Sarah); grandchildren, Alex (Ashley), Zachery, Johnathan (Bailee), Anna, Sean, Esperanza (Ian), William, Trevor, Courtney, and Amber; great grandchildren, Jason, Jaemii, and Argus; as well as many nieces and nephews. Preceding Ann in death are her parents, Henry and Eleanor McIntosh; Jim Fields; John Stockdale; her sister, Jean; and many dear friends.

Ann grew up in Steubenville, OH where she attended Steubenville High School, graduating with honors and as part of the cheerleader squad. Through all the years the smile never faded when remembering the school moto "Go Big Red!". After high school Ann studied at Allegany General Hospital earning a nursing diploma before joining the Air Force where she served honorably as a flight nurse domestically and abroad. While in the Air Force Ann met the first love of her life, Jim Fields. Her first child Amy came along shortly after, bringing her a new purpose and fresh direction in life. With Amy in her arms, she began life as a nurse in the public sector. Upon meeting John Stockdale, she married, and soon brought Scott and Stephen into the world. Ann lived in Indiana working as a registered nurse until the passing of John in a sudden and violent tragedy at his place of employment.

Shaken but determined to not have the event dictate the lives of her children, Ann moved her family back to San Antonio to be near her sister Jean and Jean's family. Once settled she soon continued her life's goal of helping others through nursing and spent a 20+ year career with South San Antonio ISD eventually holding the position of Head Nurse of South San Antonio ISD. As a school nurse and staunch advocate against abuse, she changed the trajectory of many of the young students lives. The more she saw, the more she felt a need to make a difference on a broader scale and joined local San Antonio political affiliations to help form a Political Action Committee focused on and dedicated to the prevention and elimination of domestic violence. This passion at times brought threats and real personal risk to herself. Ann never flinched. The work of these groups locally set precedents that would eventually help build a framework for national laws which continue to provide safety and succor to tens of thousands who would never know Ann's name. Her sense of fulfillment would not have been larger if they had.

Throughout Ann's life she was a mentor to many, a savior to some, and a light to all. There was never a moment when she was not bigger than life's challenges and troubles that tried to slow her down. One of her greatest gifts was teaching her kids perseverance by example as well as by word. When times were trying, she tried harder. She was not always who she wanted to be but there was never a time when she was not who she needed to be. Her life taught many lessons through both success and misadventure. Ann was, through the course of her life, a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, wife, best friend, fearful opponent, and a set of shoulders both large enough to stand on and soft enough to cry on. Regardless of circumstance, age, or condition she was at her core unapologetically Ann.

In the closing years of her life, Ann fought to hang on until she could rest knowing her children were ready. This fall she watched silently and fondly as Amy, Scott, and Stephen gathered around her for a few days. She slipped silently into the background as they shared laughs, relived the past as only siblings can, naturally gave lead to each other's strengths, and unconsciously leaned into each other's support. The product of all her years of gentle guidance, hard truths, tough love, and forgiving hugs was right before her eyes. Mission complete, heart content, she died as she lived: chin up, heart full, on her own terms, and ready for the light.

In lieu of flowers or contributions Ann would ask you take the money, grab someone you love, make time to put down the phones, have a meal, a laugh, and toast her memory with a Planters Punch, or if it's too early, a Diet Coke.

Complete notice to follow.

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IYKYK:

•While smiling, pretending to scold the kids so her aging father could get the last laugh when, after strong encouragement, they "stole my damn wheelchair again"

•First job as a waitress - hated it. "I like to help, not serve."

•Scotch and the luxury five-star hotel fountain - we are going to leave that one alone in a public writing

•The location that brought the biggest smile - Main Street Disney World

•Escorting a traumatized soldier who lost his leg home from Vietnam

•Bar hopping in the DMZ during the Vietnam war - just the description sounds cool. No story needed.

•Never made it to Scotland but Scotland made it to her

•Putting salt in the sugar bowl - it was worth the scolding

•Drink of choice: Diet Coke; Adult drink of choice: Planters Punch and don't hold back if you want a good tip

•"I would like to be your friend, but never at the expense of being your Mother"

•"If you had been sitting where it's been sitting........"